A Story of Us

"We Fell in Love"

It would appear that the author of Caffé Latte con Amor has been with more occupied with “caffé latte,” “amor,” or some other pastime outside of blogging. That’s a true story. And I suppose the following has more to do with love than lattes, so be warned.

In the words of my brother regarding his own love story…

“We met.”

“We fell in love.”

“We got married.”
Between meeting and falling in love, Daniel and I enjoyed many years of friendship. I’m not interested in posting the few “friends-and-not-at-all-in-love” pictures of that time period, and I assure you that you’re not interested in seeing them.

The events of the past year--particularly the last six months--have been such a surprise to me that words like beautiful, miraculous and surreal are inadequate to describe them. I have received gifts of experiences, friendships, lessons and love that I did not anticipate and that I do not deserve.

I opened my journal recently and noticed a comment from January 1 of this year. I had written something like, "I wish I knew what would fill the pages of this upcoming year..."

I'm glad I didn't. I think I would still be hiding under my bed. :)

Someties I'm so impatient during waiting times to discover "what's next." But over and over, in retrospect, I'm amazed and grateful at the timing God graciously allows. However unexpected, the events of the past six or eight months were perfectly orchestrated and overwhelmingly peaceful.

On this 34th day of "happily ever after," I shall close for now and save more updating for later.

Signed, a happy wife in Canada.

On Relationships...

"The heart always provides for what it values (Matt. 6:19-34), and if we value God first, our capacity to love him and others will expand. If we value the world first, we will miss out on not only the joys of knowing God but also the joys of this life.

Relationships will degenerate into contacts, and we will seek to manipulate people to get what we think we want. We will be driven to accomplish and impress, and this will detract from quality time with those we love. Activities will take precedence over intimacy, both with God and with people.

The idol of accomplishment will erode the aesthetics of the spirit and leave us busy and weary. We will work harder to influence people, and by seeking our security in their responses, we will become disconnected from our true security in Christ. The only way off this treadmill is repentance and return to the pursuit of Christ in place of the pursuit of the world."

- Kenneth Boa

Romance ... never fails?

She turned to look up at him. He smiled as he leaned over her and their eyes met. He moved her bracelet out of the way and their hands clasped, her smaller one enveloped in his. He moved in closer, and stroked her hair gently. I felt like an intruder upon this moment of tender love. They didn’t seem to mind; romance and oblivion seem to come hand-in-hand sometimes.

Romance.

The longing for romance can overshadow so many other desires. Motivation for work, ambition for success, drive for approval—these feelings are strong at certain times. But the thought of love and intimacy can make them pale. No, I’m not talking about love-sick teenagers or sappy girls. I’m talking about the natural, God-given desire for love. It is marriage—not a business agreement—that God uses to characterize the indescribable relationship of Christ and His Church.

The holy institution of marriage … the God-given physical and emotional desires … the reality of these sometimes blur with a counterfeit. Even when I think my perspective of romance is honest and healthy, does it actually line up with the true romance that God created?

Are my expectations of love pure, before God? The magazine rack’s representation of “love” is appalling. Their headlines are warped, their pictures are unmentionable. But has any trace of the world’s definition crept into my perspective?

Maybe my question reveals part of the answer—“expectations of love.” Can I hold on to expectations about the love I desire to receive and experience? 1 Corinthians 13 doesn’t mention what I should expect out of love, only what I should choose to give, in love.

What picture comes to mind from the scene at the beginning? Be honest. I know what I would imagine—young lovers’ interaction, including the music in the background! So why was it, in real life, that I sat off to the side watching this scene…and instead of happily watching a thrill of romance, tears filled my eyes?

I was realizing that my perspective might not line up with God’s.

I was seeing a limp, pale hand lost in a large, gnarled hand. The bracelet that he moved was a plastic one, stamped with her name. He could only move so close to her, as she sat in the hospital chair. His hand ran over her white hair, over and over. “Jack, just get me out of here,” she begged. “No,” he whispered, kissing her forehead, “I just can’t right now.”

This couple lives on a farm a couple miles from me, almost my closest neighbors. I regularly meet Jack on the road in his work pickup or in a tractor. Eighty-seven years old, he sat in the hospital beside Jo, wearing his suspenders, jeans and boots. He touched her shoulder gently and adjusted the flimsy hospital gown. “Is your arm hurting you?” he asked. I caught a glimpse of the immobilized arm in a sling, and winced at the black bruising that splashed across her upper arm and elbow. It was obvious that yesterday’s fourteen hours by his wife’s side was more difficult than any day of work on the farm, ever.

Seven years ago, Jack suspected something wasn’t right, and took Jo for several tests. Ever since Alzheimer’s was diagnosed, he has cared for her at home. He wears a hearing aid in one ear, and hers is on the opposite site; their living room recliner couch is set up so they could sit with their “good ears” facing each other, to hear each other talk.

He interrupted her disoriented cries with soothing talk, as he stroked her cheek softly. I was close to tears at seeing this tough man so brokenhearted over his wife, yet persevering day after day. I didn’t know how to reconcile this commitment and sacrifice—poured out, with no hope of reciprocal emotions and fulfillment from his wife—with the standard expectation of relationships that’s set today.

Are my dreams about romance seated in reality? Are my expectations of a relationship established in selflessness? Am I committed to giving, or do I require return? Would my sub-conscious definition of romance withstand the challenges, or simply accept the ideal?

Love never fails.